So who's "bizarre," anyway? Perhaps a new record of sorts this morning. The Herald's "Inside Track" and the Globe's "Names" column both poke fun at Teresa Heinz Kerry for making "bizarre" statements on the occasion of a speech she gave at the Fairmont Copy Plaza.

Examples: none!

The Globe resorts to a previous Heinz statement, which it paraphrases as "her needing another Botox treatment" to back up its "bizarre" assertion. But the only direct quote it can come up with from Monday's talk is "her admonition to 'work to make this world a whole place.'" So now it appears that if she can get through a speech without saying anything "bizarre," that in itself is news. How bizarre.

The Track goes it several times better, offering no direct quotes, but asserting that she gave "a bizarre, rambling speech ... about hormones and the big, bad pharmaceutical companies' conspiracy against women!" Here's the money graf:

"It was endless, pointless and confusing," said one politically connected chick. "And it was far, far too technical as a dinner speech. I mean, the Latin names of drugs? There was an exodus out the door before dessert."

At a reported length of 35 minutes, Heinz might justifiably be accused of trying her listeners' patience. But "bizarre"? Media Log is still waiting for even one bit of evidence.